Sharknado Movie Review

 To the age old question “What would you do if you had a million dollars?”, several common answers likely come to mind.  A new house, a new car, retirement, piles of drugs, prostitutes for days, put a hit out on someone you hate, calf implants, buy a complete, mint condition, 1986 Fleer basketball card set, invest in hover-board development (I still can’t believe these aren’t a reality yet), and/or family travel are likely what would pop into the average person’s head.  Well, I am happy to say that the movie makers at the SyFy channel have a little broader scope and mindset when it comes to such questions.  When offered that fat stack of cash, they went way outside the box to make an investment that is sure to pay off in dividends for years to come.  Yeah, they decided to make the scariest movie ever… one million dollars worth of scare to be exact.  What’s so scary about this movie you ask?  How about the simple fact that they melted the two most terrifying reapers of destruction known to man?  Hello, a tornado and a shark!  The only thing that could even possibly compare is Sharkning, the combination of lightning and a shark, but the odds of that are just ridiculous, so I think they chose well.

Now this melting of terrors, or terror-squared as I like to call it, is no new thing to the creators of modern B-horror or the SyFy Channel.  A slight twist on the “versus” genre (we all remember Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus and Boa vs Python) and some high school level computer graphics have enabled the realization of some other true classics like Sharktopus, Gatoroid, and a whole group of “Megas” including the daunting 2-Headed Mega Shark.  But to be honest though, these all pale by comparison in terms of horrific horrors.  Those posers are no Sharknado…no sir!

So what did they get for their money?  How about 90210’s best actor, Hollywood’s little darling Tara Reid, and all the CGI a sophomore level Computer Science student could muster?  The result, a combination of some surprisingly adequate actors, an absurd story line, and subtle humor that makes this a perfect fit for my new favorite B-horror movie of all time.  Side note: My previous favorite was Monster Man, a terrifically terrible story of a monster truck killer.  The Yoda sex scene is something that one must simply experience; no explanation would do it justice.  Just trust me when I say it makes the movie.

Sharknado is hilarious and has a couple of scenes that made even my wife laugh out loud, and she is not a fan of this kind of stuff in the least.  The jokes are all subtle and the film does not make fun of itself at all within the movie which makes it all the better.  The actors commit and treat it like a true drama as if they were not in on the joke.  If you are going to do it, you have got to commit, and commit they did.  This was meant to be a horrible movie and does a great job at it.  It delivers a new monster, plenty of blood, ridiculous situations and good enough actors to let you enjoy the magic without people tripping over their lines.  If you understand the genre, you have no choice but to love this movie.  As for the technical accuracy, trust me, I’m an engineer and the science is sound as a pound.

Sharknado is a B-movie hit.  That being said, I just saw the preview for Ghost Shark.  Can shark lightning strike twice for the Syfy network?  I think yes.  How can you go wrong with an undead shark?  Um..it can't be killed.   Keep the great ideas coming because you guys are on the right track.  I have also heard they are planning on making Sharknado 2.  I don’t know what new ideas they will bring to this perfect combination, but could you imagine if they strapped frickin’ “laser beams” to these sharks?  I may never sleep again.  


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