2.25.2013

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Review


 
My poor wife...wow, the number of conversations I can start with that statement is huge.  My poor wife has to sit on the couch next to me while I pick my toenails rather than clip them.  My poor wife has to wash my gym clothes and boxing gear, which when I am done, resemble a beach towel thrown in a swimming pool.  My poor wife has to watch me shovel doughnut after doughnut into my gaping maw every day and not say a word because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings.  My poor wife has to feel my hot stinking breath on the back of her neck when she is trying to sleep because I like to cuddle.  My poor wife has to bite back the bile every time I come out of the bathroom shirtless, sporting superman boxers, doing my sexy strut because I want some "quality time".  My poor wife has to feel the suffocating pressure of my huge greasy belly against her supple tight abs at least once a month.  My poor wife has to cook, clean, and pretty much handle everything related to the home.  All that being said, the home is where my review comes in. 

Let's face it, I'm not going to stop boxing, double fisting doughnuts, or turn down sex with a hotty like my wife.  So, the only place I can really ease her suffering is with cool kitchen gadgets or things that help make the home care portion of her life a little easier.  That is where Mr. Clean steps in.  These magic erasers are exactly that, magic.  I don't know the chemistry involved but they are quite miraculous and  have a multitude of uses.  Whatever they touch, they clean.  They feel like a soft foam sanding block, but when you get them wet, they kind of disintegrate while you use them.  I don't know where they go, because they leave no residue, but they kind of just go away.  At first I thought they were just sanding away a layer of whatever you are cleaning, but after closer inspection, they don't mark up the table, walls, baseboards, or the appliances whatsoever.  Marker, crayons, and grape juice come up with ease; so much so that I've done my own experimentation.  For instance, I have old, crappy linoleum counter tops.  A red cool aid cup ring would previously have been just one more permanent scar on an already tortured counter.  When it happened recently, I tried a scouring pad with Ajax, Soft scrub, and even a one of those orange wiry dish cleaners from the early 70's.  Nothing touched that red dye number 5, nothing.... except for the magic eraser that is.  It cleaned it up lickity-split, and I don't use the term lickity-split lightly.  I literally scrubbed the stain for 10 seconds with the eraser and it was gone.  We've used these on everything.  My wife even shined up the old chrome wedding toaster with one of these and her friends went on about it for 20 min. Yeah, the toaster was shiny,  very shiny. 

The Magic Eraser has become our go-to cleaner for everything under the sun.  I'm tempted to take it in the shower as see what it can do with my crusty feet and acne covered ass.  I wouldn't be surprised one bit if I walked out of the shower as smooth as my 11 year-old former self.  Technically, I don't know a surface it won't clean, but I have not yet tried it on any body surfaces.  For once, a product that does exactly as advertised.  Well done Mr. Clean.  If I could give you 6 stars, I would.    


Disclaimer:  I am not condoning or recommending Mr. Clean Magic Erasers for cleaning eyes, ears, lips, tongue, or teeth.  "External use only" definitely applies.  Experiment at your own risk.

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