9.20.2012

Special K Strawberry Pastry Crisps Review


As my weight climbs exponentially, I've found that there are multiple advantages and drawbacks to getting fat. 

Advantage -- if I were to fall while walking to the fridge to put caramel syrup on my ice cream, my large belly will contact the ground first and soften the blow.
Drawback -- I would have a hard getting up after this fall due to my enormous mass.

Advantage -- My butt doesn't fall asleep when I'm sitting on a hard chair at church for multiple hours due to the extra padding.
Drawback -- Most chairs are now too small for my double axe-handle-wide ass.

Advantage -- I can now set my cereal on my rotund belly while sitting on the couch eating cereal at 11pm.
Drawback -- I've found sticky bits of cocoa pebbles up to 3 days later in my belly folds.


Advantage -- I now always get to be "the bottom" during intimate moments with my wife due to the potential of suffocation to her.
Drawback -- The last intimate moment occurred in 2009.

Perhaps it is time for me to lose some weight.

My search for low calorie breakfast items has been rough.  There are no low-fat Mcgriddles, caramel-apple muffins, custard-filled donuts, or country omelets.  Even supposedly smaller breakfast items like pop-tarts or toaster strudels are high in fat and calories.

On one evening stroll through Costco, I spied a pastry bar that I hadn't tried, and was drawn to the 100 calories advertisement on the box.  Each package has 2 thin "crisps" which are a total of 100 calories.  The crisps are filled with strawberry and topped with a drizzle of vanilla frosting.

I first noticed how light these were.  One package is .88 oz (or 25 grams).  When pulling each crisp out of the package, you need to be careful.  They are VERY thin and brittle.  If you break them in the package, you'll end up with a lap-ful of crumbs (which are very hard to funnel back into your hands for ingestion).

Despite the fact that they appear to be anorexic pop-tarts, the taste more than compensates for the lack of quantity.  The crisp is just right without being dry.  The strawberry filling isn't overpowering, and the vanilla topping is a great compliment.  The overall taste/texture is very rewarding.  I really enjoy the crispiness without heading into saltine territory.  These would be a great addition to the Communion kitty.
Don't get me wrong, these are 100 calories for a reason.  You won't be hiking the Himalayas with these in your fanny pack.  They don't provide much sustenance, but for a fatty like me, it's just what the doctor ordered.

I rate the Special K Strawberry Pastry Crisps a solid 4 stars out of 5.  I'm really looking forward to the end of my diet when I will attempt to put 12 of these in my mouth at one time.  The bonus, is that will only be 600 calories.


1 comments:

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