Certain Dri Anti-Perspirant Review

I'm a sweaty man beast, there is no doubt about it.  When I work out, I sweat buckets.  When I am hot, I leave sweaty ass-marks wherever I am sitting.  Worst of all, when I go to church, I pit-out within minutes of walking inside the building.  You know the old joke about sweating more than a whore in church, well, in this case, I am the whore.  Maybe it is the fact that the clergy are always eye-balling me.  Somehow they are connected to the big man and know my deepest thoughts and transgressions.  I can tell just by the way the pastor shakes my hand that he knows what I did with that bar of lava soap.  I know, I was stupid, Lava has pumice in it.  Trust me, I've learned my lesson.   The point is, he knows.  I know that he knows, and hence, my pits produce more moisture than the island of Tahiti.  

I needed some help.  I had gone through every antiperspirant out there when a buddy offered some advice to try Certain Dri, a clinical strength Roll-on.  This is something they keep behind the counter in the pharmacy so I actually just bought it on Amazon.com.   Here is the deal.  This isn't like other deodorants.  It is a roll-on, but you don't wear it after your shower in the morning.  You put it on at night, before bed, and let it work its magic while you sleep.  You use your regular Speed-Stick during the day, and then put this on again at night.  The effects are not short lived.  I followed the instructions and put just a small amount on every night for almost 2 weeks.  By the end of the 2 week period, I was putting on a little more than the recommended dose, and for that, I paid.  My pits started itching like crazy while I slept. They ached and burned.  So much so, that I got a rash and had to stop using this stuff altogether.  A few days after cursing the guy that recommended this, I was sitting in church and realized that I was just as hot and guilty as normal, but my pits held their mud.  I was dry as a bell, fresh as a daisy.  

This continued for the next couple of weeks and then I stared to see a little pit juice one day.  So, I started-up with this stuff again for just a couple of nights, treading lightly this time and following the directions.  Poof, my pits are a desert again.  I don't know what this stuff does to your pores; it burns, it itches, and it just doesn't seem natural.  I am pretty sure it chemically welded my pit pores shut, which can't be good because they were probably designed that way for a reason, but it works as advertized.  I can now bluff the Bishop with the best of them, I can elude the Elders like a pro, and my pits won't give a thing away.     

You may experience some side effects like itching, burning, and some serious pit-pain, but to be honest, it isn't half as bad as what I experienced with the aforementioned Lava soap.  Give it a try, this stuff works.


Matt said...

What if you have sweating in...."other places." Will this work as well?

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