Smashburger Wedge Club Burger Review

The popularity of the lettuce wedge salad is confusing to me.  Cut a lettuce head into 1/8ths, and then top with miniscule amounts of bacon, tomatoes, onions, and blue cheese crumbles.  If this came in chopped salad form, we'd complain about meager toppings.  Yet make it look like it just came from the fridge, charge twice as much, and women everywhere rave over how delicious it is.  Plus, they are making you do all the work.  I like my salad to come all mixed up with bite-size pieces of "everything" on each forkful.  Give me a wedge salad, and I'll need to chop, split, and mix before I can enjoy it.  No thanks.

Due to the popularity of the lettuce wedge salad, Smashburger decided to take a perfectly good burger, and stuff a wedge inside.  The toppings on this burger are applewood bacon, blue cheese crumbles, an iceberg wedge, ripe tomatoes, red onions and blue cheese dressing   The very idea didn't sound too promising--but I only pre-judge when it comes to gender and religion...not burgers, so I gave it a go.

My last burger experience at Smashburger was a rousing success.  I had hoped this would be the same, so I forked out my 12 bucks for a burger/fries/drink, and took a seat at a booth with a much thinner wallet.

I'll rate this burger on a few key items:

Appearance:  Smashburger does a good job with presentation.  The "burger" half sits next to the "topping" half, and you get to be the one that initiates the hamburger copulation.  The "topping" half was literally a small lettuce wedge salad balancing precariously on a delicious egg bun.  I was impressed as I thoroughly enjoy lots of crispy vegetables on a burger.  Thumbs up.

Put-together-ness:  I like my food to be put together well.  I don't want to take a bite of something, and all the toppings fall out the ass-end of my buns. (egg buns)  Carls Jr. is the biggest offender of this.  They slather on copious amounts of mayo onto unreal amounts of quasi-lettuce, and your sandwich turns into a meat patty skating rink.  That's why they put the paper around the burger, or you'd end up with white mayo stains all over your crotch. (leave it be)
The wedge club burger is HORRIBLY put together.  First, unless you can stick your fist in your mouth, good luck fitting this burger in for a bite.  Second, each bite was literal pandemonium.  Bacon bits falling out, blue cheese crumbles falling down my shirt, the lettuce wedge trying to escape the ghastly clutches of my buns at every bite.  It was a mess.  Third, because of this mess I had created, I had to use my grubby mitts to pick up all the loose pieces of food. (I always clean my plate)  I dislike "blue cheese fingers".  Big thumbs down.

Taste:  Does this burger taste good?  If you can overlook the oral apocalypse that takes place, then yes it is.  But this is also a good burger when I order it from a thousand other places.  It's called a blue bacon cheeseburger.  I remember ordering it from the Training Table 20 years ago.  No thumbs on this.

Value:  Smashburger is expensive.  Very expensive.  If I spend 7 bucks on a burger, I am expecting bottomless french fries, or a sensory experience like none other.  This burger gave me neither.  Thumbs down.

I suggest you take the majority of the lettuce wedge off the burger, and eat it as a side salad. (I just saved you 3 bucks)  Then you peel off one piece of lettuce, place on buns, and you have a good old-fashioned blue bacon burger--without your place-setting looking like a 3 year old was just there.  Fortunately, this burger is only available for a limited time.  Let's start a letter campaign to bring back the Fresh Mex Burger.

1 Sloppy Star


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