Folliculitis Treatment Review

We are all friends here.  If you have read some of my reviews, you know that I have revealed personal things that should only be kept among the closest of friends, but I do it for the good of the land.  My body grooming habits are now public knowledge.  My bout with back acne has been scribed in stone (though now fixed thanks to Acutane).  I've even mentioned my less than impressive endowment and my bedroom buffoonery (if that is a real word).  Needless to say, my life is pretty much an open book, but even I hesitated to post this review.  For the good of my fellow sufferers, here goes....I Meatwad of Review Spew suffer from posterior folliculitis.

Booty blisters, rump rash, ass acne, posterior pustules, call it what you will.  My hind end has more pock marks than Seal's face.  My backside sports more scabs than a mutt with scabies.  It really looks like a cross between over-risen bread dough and a Meth addict.  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your perspective, I am also as hairy as an ape, so you do have to wade through a matted thatch to get to the crater-like under skin.   I've suffered in silence for years, but I finally got up the nerve to tell my dermatologist about 4 weeks ago.  Here is how it went.

Me: "Dr. I think my acne is back."
Dr. : "Lift up your shirt and let me take a look."
Me:  "Umm...it is a little lower."
Dr.:  Sigh..."Ok, let me take a look."

From there I dropped trou, bent over..which is weird because he didn't actually ask me to do that, and exposed my bumpy secret.  I couldn't see over my shoulder, but I am sure it took him a second to bite back the bile as he examined my derriere for a good 3 min.  After that he had me "zip-up" and explained that this is a byproduct of heat, pressure, and fabric breath ability.   My pear-like shape tipped him off to the fact that I sit on my ever-widening arse all day every day at work.  He recommended a more breathable chair, less "silky" under britches, and a once-daily ass shampoo.  Yup, shampoo for my ass.  The technical name is Prascion cleanser which is a prescription based sodium, sulfur shampoo for your butt.  He also prescribed Erythromycin 2% pledgets which are just RX versions of Oxy pads...again, for my heinie.  Great, I just added one more bottle to the cornucopia of bath gels in my shower.  Just don't mix up products when you rinse and repeat or your head may end up smelling like rotten eggs and dandruff may become the least of your worries (as dry, flaky skin can be a side-effect of the cheek scrub).  

Well, 4 weeks later and I am a different man.  I massaged my rump for 1-2 min. a day with a sulfur lather and the results are astounding.  I'm actually done with the shampoo treatment and am now just using the little pads as "ass maintenance".  The hair on my keister now careens over smooth supple buns whose scars and bumps of yesteryear are nothing but a faint memory.  I can't believe I suffered so long without talking to someone.  I give the combination of these 2 products 5 zit zapping stars and share my embarrassment with you so that those millions (or 5) other silent sufferers know that there is help.  Talk to your doc...your badonkadonk will thank you for it.