The McRib in a Post - 9/11 World Review

It’s that time again. Yes-sir boys and girls the McRib is back. I absolutely love this thing and have since day one. It’s the perfect combination of pickle, onion, BBQ sauce, bun and semi-solid gelatinous molded pork product. In short, exactly what every growing boy needs in his gullet precisely as God intended. And I’m not being sarcastic! It just tastes good, and isn’t that one of the main considerations that goes into deciding what you want to eat? Well it is for me anyway.

There is no clean way to eat one of these so you have no choice but to accept the mess. I will not eat these at McDonalds, nor will I eat it in front of others. It really is just too messy. This is okay though because being alone in my car eating a McRib, I’m allowed to let my inner-piggy out to play for a while. My belief is that if you’re going to have BBQ sauce on your face from ear-to-ear and the tip of your nose, and your chin and your lap, while the hell are you bothering with closing your mouth when you chew? I love it. Stuff just flies everywhere. It’s very liberating.

My son once asked me why the McRib is only around for a limited time. I told him that with your average cow you can make thousands of hamburgers but it only has one asshole and there’s only so many McRibs you can make from that. But all joking aside, this is a really good sandwich. Personally I’m glad it’s only for a limited time. It gives me time to look forward to the next time it will be available and besides, I’d weigh thrice as much if it was a regular menu item. At 450 Calories, 75mg cholesterol, 24g of fat (8g of saturated fat) and 890mg of sodium … times two (because who can get away with only eating 1 in a single sitting) … that is some seriously unhealthy food there, and I don’t think my body could take it.

It may be unhealthy but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the McRib. Nothing. If you’re worried about your health, then eat it in moderation. If you are not worried about your health, then have 2 for lunch, 2 for dinner and 1 for an evening snack every single day until it’s time is up in your area. Why? Well because it’s just fantastic. I declare the McRib a Certified ReviewSpew All-Star.

Now what does all this have to do with 9/11? Well I’ll tell you. Over ten years later since that tragic day and we can still freely walk into a McDonalds and order a McRib. We can still be gluttons, we can still destroy our own bodies as we see fit, we can still throw caution to the wind. You stop buying McRibs for any reason and the terrorists win and I say NO! Don’t let them do it. My country, my body, my McRib! There is no greater exercise of our God-given freedoms than spending your hard earned money on a disgustingly delicious sandwich that is only going to shorten your life-span. Nobody can force me not too. I daresay it’s our duty to do so! God bless the McRib. God bless America!!!!!!!


Political Cartoons said...

Only on the internet can you link the McRib with 9/11 ;D

JustJim said...

I was about to scrap the whole idea of the McRib review until I came up with the 9/11 angle. Then it was a must-do kind of thing. Thank you for reading!!

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