I have been absent from reviews for the past two months. I would actually like to blame this on my laziness, but sadly I am going to blame my recently acquired second job. To supplement my income and to help pay off debt I started work as a dominos delivery driver over 2 months ago. I think I'll blame Dave Ramsey.
Side note: When I was looking for a dominos delivery driver in google images I literally only got pictures of felons that appeared in "Busted" magazine. I'm in good company.
Anyways, my job consists of picking up the pizzas from dominos, throwing them into my patented "Heat Wave" bag, and looking for the address. And by that I mean putting the address into my 3 year old GPS. This is where part of my headache comes in. My GPS and I have a love/hate relationship. I honestly believe it loves to hate me. Susan always tells me (yes, I call it Susan) that "the house is on the left in 100 feet." So i stop where she tells me to and I get out and walk up to the house she told me to go to. Only when I get close I see that the address is way off, so I start prowling the sidewalk, pizza bag in hand, and walk at least half a block to actually find the house. Then when I get there, the customer looks out at the street and jokes that I must have walked from the store itself. I always laugh because I have no backbone or integrity and I just want my tip.
Yes, for the 2 minutes I am at the customer's door I have to adapt myself to whoever I'm facing. If it's an old lady who can barely open her screen door I say "Hiiiiii.... howww arrrrreeee youuuu?" In the sweetest voice possible. She then gives me about 17 dollars in quarters and nickels. If a 50'ish man answers the door I greet him with "How's it going." In a very stern, non-questioning way. He then gives me a 2 dollar tip. If a semi-attractive woman answers the door I change my voice into my radio voice and give her the smolder, "Hi, how are YOU doing tonight?" That is where I usually get my 5 dollar tips.
After a typical delivery night I get about 50 dollars in tips. I've received much more, and much less. I get stiffed an average of twice a night and that is usually because a babysitter answers the door and requires exact change back so she can pocket it.
Honestly, delivering is not the worst part of the job. It's not all that hard to hand someone their food and get money for it. The worst part is the stuff the management thinks should be done afterward. I usually run pizzas constantly from 5 till 9, but then for a good two hours after I am washing the dishes. My first night of scrubbing butter and garlic out of greasy pizza pans I thought to myself, "I'm 30 and I'm washing dishes at a fast food joint." It really didn't take long for me to realize that I'm not above anything. Bachelors degrees don't quite guarantee prestige anymore.
When I tell people about this job the first thing they ask is if I get to eat pizza every night. I have previously always said that my desert island food is pizza. I could've sworn I would be able to eat it every day and never get sick of it. It only took me 2 weeks to start turning away the free "reject" pizza.
I have started a bucket list of things I need to see while I deliver. I've been able to cross off 2 good things. First is, a hot woman in a bathrobe. Second, a cougar propositioning me,
There is one pro when it comes to delivering - the tips. There are too many cons that may outweigh the cash in hand, such as; working 7 hours at night as soon as I get off of my day job, not seeing my family, and delivering pizza to former college classmates and feeling like you have to explain yourself and how you're not a failure.
If anyone were to need a second job to make some cash then dominos would fit the bill, but now after 2 months of delivering I am ready to quit, or perhaps I'd be willing to stay longer if more items on my delivery bucket list were fulfilled. 2 stars.
Monday, November 14, 2011 Kenny D