MMA Review

Several of my reviews have mentioned something about fighting, Muay Thai kickboxing, MMA (mixed martial arts), or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I can't help it, I am obsessed. The more I do it, the more I can't stop thinking about it. The more I watch it, the more I want to watch. Considering the proximity to your partner, the amount of heavy breathing, and the perpetual sweat, this is really the closest thing to sex that you can do with a hetero buddy and still talk about at the office on Monday. The question is why? What draws me to this sport that causes continual injury? What makes me endure the beatings that I take on a regular basis? The workout is amazing, yes, but as I think about it, my true passion for the sport has more to do with the mental regression to barbaric times. For a few rounds, I connect with my ancestors of old and mentally propel myself back to a time when men battled for survival. A time when it was just you against your opponent. In those moments, there is no one to help you. You win or you lose, there will be no intervention by Obama to make everyone equal. No government agency is going to step in and imbue you with skills from a more advanced fighter just because you "deserve" to win a fight. The blame or the spoils fall on you and you alone. Imagine that. You didn't think I could "roll" a political statement into a meathead sport review? Well then you underestimate me my friend. I guess this has always been the case with me and my sports. Running a marathon, biking, lifting weights, and one-on-one sports have always been my preference, and honestly, I think that deep down this is the reason why. Wow.... do I digress.

Anyhow, the other thing I noticed with my fight buddies as we sink deeper into our fighting obsession is an "incorporation" of our workouts into everyday life. So, in true plagiaristic fashion, I will now show homage to Mr. Foxworthy by making my own pseudo-Redneck list.

"You might be an MMA fighter if"

You find yourself in your wife's guard.... and move to side control.
Your wife tries to hug you and you side step to work the angles.
Your wife hugs you and you try to counter her underhooks.
You have air kicked any member of your family, particularly your children.
You have taught your 5 year old the proper way to sink in a rear naked choke.
Your son gets in a fight at school and you ask if he tapped.
You wear tie on Sunday but it was still made by Tapout.
You've been "caught" more than once in the guard of another man.
Your wife gets aggressive and you sweep her.
When you shake someone's hand, your left fist naturally moves to the side of your face for protection.
You shave before rolling because you don't want to give your buddy beard burn.
You have ever gotten an injury from another man's cup.
You fantasize about fights more than you fantasize about sex.
You use the term North-South to make the 69 position you were in with your buddy sound better to your wife.

For those of you that think MMA is just a bunch of unskilled psychos that just slug it out, you really have no idea. The skill set required to be good is ridiculous and the workout is unmatched. With the exception of a propensity for injury, I really don't see any sport as its equal. I'll continue to do it for as long as I can, but there is no doubt, this sport is not for the weak or faint of heart. If you want a real rush, give it a try. If your body is more "couch ready" than "gym ready" then at least set the DVR to record Spike. Give it a chance and you will be hooked. I give MMA and Mr. Dana White of the UFC 5 kick-ass stars. Great sport, and great marketing my friend.