7.14.2011

Carrot Top's Las Vegas Show Review


So I was in Vegas a couple of weeks ago with a buddy and we wanted to see a few shows. We were going through the massive list when we came across Carrot Top. I thought it looked great, but my friend, like so many others I’ve talked to since, said "I hate that guy, there is no way I’m paying to see him". It took some work but I finally convinced him to go and I have to say that he changed his mind in the first five minutes of the show. The guy comes out on stage like it is a rock concert and he instantly won me over. We had really great seats, not that there were many bad ones as the venue wasn't huge, and thought he was fantastic and really funny. I just can't figure out why most people's initial reaction to him is so negative.

So what if he looks like an oversized chucky doll.

So what if his shoulders sit on top of his arms like a couple of overripe muskmelons.

So what if his movie "Chairman of the board" scores a 14% on Rotten Tomatoes.

So what if his hair is reminiscent of deranged orangutan with mange. (wow..that was poetic)

So what if he looks like the plastic surgery 3-way love child of Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers and JB's Big Boy.

So what if he uses more props than an over aged porn star.

So what if he never admitted to being Rocky Dennis' twin brother. (Google it)

So what if he has "juiced" more than Minute Maid.

So what if Ronald McDonald has a pending lawsuit against him for their copy written fright wig.

So what if he belongs down at Fraggle rock….down at Fraggle rock.

So what if he would fit right into the 80’s Genesis video “This is the World We Live In”..oh…oohh

So what if he looks like the an Irish version of Chaka Khan.

So what if he played one of “Floops Fooglies” in the movie Spy Kids.

So what if his face is pulled so tight that his ears touch in the back and you can see his wisdom teeth when he smiles.

So what if he looks like a troll doll without the belly gem.

So what if he sports a “smokey” eye and has a penciled brow, it makes him look severe and more distinguished. Plus, lots of dudes wear eyeliner these days. I would if I had the lashes for it. Case in point: Eddie Izzard, also hilarious.

So what if his most famous movie line was “Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya”.

So what if he chooses to wears a full-on Gene Wylder ‘Fro...he doesn’t just wear it, he perfected it.

So what if he bullied “Ralphie” when he was a kid.

So what if he looks like a ripped Pippi Longstocking.

So what if he conspired against Issac in Children of the Corn, Malachi plays second fiddle to no man (or boy).

So what if he always wanted to be in Ricky Ricardo’s show…he does have some ‘splainin’ to do.

So what if he is up for the role of Lion-O in Broadway’s production of “Thundercats – the Musical”…I hear Rachel Dratch is up for the role of Mumm-Ra (decayed form of course).

So what if his best friends call him Sloth.

The guy is hilarious, packs the house every night, is ripped with major abs of steel, has been doing it for years and still delivers a great show..oh yeah, and he is worth roughly $87 Million, so he must be doing something right. All you haters can suck it. As for Carrot Top, all I can say is “well done my ginger friend, you are my hero.”

Btw…There are over 25 horrible pop culture references in this review. If you understood even 10% of them, shame on you. That was literally every reference to a redhead or freak that I could think of.

5 comments:

foodjunk said...

That was a great review, haha! Well done.

Matt said...

He was the worst guest star ever on Reno 911.

I thought you'd have a "It's better than Fast food..It's Wendy's" reference in their somewhere.

Anonymous said...

It's abs of steel, not steal!

MeatWad said...

Anon..i meant what I said. Abs of steal…that’s right, like he stole them from a Greek God. Please note that when you are pumping out a one page review every 3 -4 weeks, it is difficult to proof and catch every single spelling error, especially those that spell check misses. Luckily there are douche bags like you that point them out and do so in such a humorless way. In case you didn’t know, douche is from the Latin word “ductio” ….which means prick! (Please note the exclamation point used to emphasize feeling)

Anonymous said...

From a feminine point of view, before Saturday night (7/22) I was one of those haters. Thought he was crude, crass and the language just wasn't for me. Since I was staying at the Luxor I had a chance to see the Carrot Top tour of the hotel on one of the hotel's tv channels. It was so freaking funny that I changed my mind and got tickets to his show. My world has not been the same since. What a show! He's pure genius and beside that he's so sexy, he's hotter than hell! What I wouldn't give to do some dancing in the sheets with that ripped, gorgeous body, plus I'm a sucker for red heads.

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