Three Little Pills Review

Maybe, just maybe it has everything to do with my weight. Perhaps it’s just genetics or a sign of old age. Then again maybe it’s the 2 open face Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches I eat each night just before going to bed (my wife refers to these as colon-cloggers). Whatever the reason, I have problems with constipation.

I started taking fiber supplement tablets a few years ago after I went a solid month without pooping.
That was an extremely miserable experience of which I will spare you the details. I started out with what I knew from TV which was Fiber-Con brand fiber tablets. This got the ball or rather the poop rolling. Then I discovered that Costco had a Kirkland brand fiber tablet. Guess what? Not only were they cheaper but they actually worked better. I had never been so regular.

The true test of their effectiveness came about 6 months ago when I ran out and Costco seemed to be out of the Kirkland brand. I ended up trying Walgreens brand fiber tablets. Talk about bringing everything to a screeching halt. If I wanted to be that plugged up I would have….never mind. I returned to Costco where I was well pleased to learn they had restocked the Kirkland fiber tablets. I cannot recommend these enough and declare them a certified ReviewSpew All-Star!

Lately, I find myself increasingly unable to sleep at night. This is something I have never, ever, ever had problems with. They say the ability to quickly fall asleep and sleep soundly throughout the night is a sign of a clean conscience. “They” fail to realize that it could also be the sign of someone without a conscience. I bet Hitler slept just peachy fine most of the time and that Charles Manson has that permanent smile on his face even when sleeping.

Fully understanding that I do not have a clean conscience leads me to believe and accept the truth that I don’t have a conscience at all. Until lately. This is indeed unwanted and troubling and I really am working on ways to push the guilt and shame just as far down as possible to allow me to drift off and stay asleep. Until I figure that all out I have been taking Advil PM.

These little bad boys are amazing. You take two and lay down in bed and just about the time you convince yourself they aren’t working (typically 20-30 minutes) BAMM! You look at the clock and I kid you not a minimum of 6 hours has gone by without you even being aware. You close your eyes and marvel at this fact for what you think is a few minutes, then you look at the clock to make sure that it had really been 6 hours and BAMM another 2 hours has gone by. Your alarm clock goes off and here is the truly wonderful part…you are awake, rested and alert.

Ah but they do have 2 draw backs. One, despite anything the maker may claim, you do become dependent on them in order to fall asleep and two they stop working after about a week of taking them. This leads to a few days of pure psychotic behavior on your part as you are truly unable to sleep at all despite having 4 times the recommended dose of these things in your system. Something I am definitely not advising because it doesn’t work anyway, just makes you feel like there’s something crawling under your skin. You meth addicts know what I’m talking about. Anyway, for an occasional sleep aid, these things really are awesome. Because of all the other problems they bring I can only award 3 stars.
Remember way back when in the 80’s and there were those anti-teenage pregnancy billboards that showed a girl and a boy facing each other and both were pregnant and it said “When your girlfriend is pregnant so are you”? You remember don’t you? The ad that didn’t do a thing for teenage pregnancy but lead to an entire generation of boys claiming “That ain’t my baby”. I digress.

I said all that so I could tell you this: When you’re wife is menstruating so are you. Oh yes, she is going to make dang sure you are feeling her pain. I also have a teenage daughter and guess what? Their cycles really do synch-up. What cruel twist of fate dealt that reality to us poor unsuspecting men? Anyway, the cure is simple. First part is to track your wife’s cycles so you can prepare ahead of time for it. Next buy lots and lots of chocolate because it really does work. Order some flowers, sandbag at work for an entire week ahead of time so you suddenly “Have to work late the next few nights, so sorry honey”, and buy lots and lots and lots of Midol Maximum Strength Menstrual Complete.

The stuff works, simple as that. It does almost everything the box says it does. It relieves “Cramps; Bloating; Fatigue; Backache; Headache.” Where the box lies is when it says this: “Package Not Child-Resistant … EASY TO OPEN” and it says it just like that in all caps with yellow highlight. This review is about the box. It’s horrible. It’s evil. The pills come in these little cardboard squares which are many things but they definitely are not easy to open.

Fearing like hell that one of the women in my house might skip a dose I found myself frantically trying to open as many as these as I could and place them into one of lasts months empty bottles of Midol. It took damn near forever and by the time I was done I was cramping, bloated, fatigued, and had a backache and a headache. So I took 2 of the little suckers. Made my nipples sensitive, I cried during an episode of Glee, but my cramps and pains went away pretty quick. Always, always, always buy these in a bottle. The cardboard box sucks big time and scores a perfect zero stars.


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