Fast Five movie review

Whoever said "originality is dead" was spot on. It's a possibly true fact that 70% of movies released every year are sequels. At this rate there will cease to be a non-sequel movie in precisely one year. The hollywood machine keeps making these sequels because we keep giving them our cash. And I am to blame just as much as anyone else for this. I just wish I never had the curiosity to find out what happens with Neo after the first Matrix. I also regret praying that we'd see Spiderman finally take on Venom on the big screen. Yuck.

One thing the first Fast and the Furious movie never had going for it was quality or expectations(though I'm sure a large number of people would disagree with my correct judgment). So it's not as if I think any of the sequels have taken a large drop in quality. To be honest, they have been pretty consistent. But that is also saying that the last 5 Saw movies were pretty consistent. Consistent doesn't necessarily mean 'good.'

Fast Five once again brings back Vin "speech impediment" Diesel, Paul "cardboard acting" Walker, and other people from the entire series, including the Asian guy who died in Tokyo Drift. So it took 3 movies but Paul Walker has finally left the cop life behind and has joined up with Diesel for the full-on crime life in Rio. Basically they spend the whole movie planning a heist (apparently they are heist movies now) while they are being sought by murderous Brazilian thugs and Federal agents led by a goateed Rock.

The acting is terrible. Even the Rock who has more charisma than the entire cast combined delivers lines as if he was just making it up. And if you check out this Onion news story that may not be far off. I could not help but burst out laughing at the awful dialogue. The audience I saw it with felt the same up to a point, halfway through the movie they decided it was the greatest movie they have seen since the 4th Fast and Furious movie. There was cheering, uproarious laughter, hoots, hollers, and even head bobbing.

Everyone walked out of this movie loving life and probably driving home at least 10 mph faster. I honestly could not wipe the smile off of my face. It might be the funniest movie I've seen all year but for all the wrong reasons. This was definitely in the category of so terribly awful, that it is so terribly good. Fans will eat this up, and elitists such as myself should see it with these crowds. It just makes for a better experience. I'm saying 1 star, because it's a bad movie, but a good use of your time.


Sarah said...

These movies do tend to create an increase in bad driving. I saw the first movie on a date nearly 10 years ago! And tires were squeeling out of the parking lot after that one.

There should be a rule that a movie franchise this bad shouldn't cover that large of a span of time.

I mean, The Fast and The Furious has been around for 1/3 of my life! In the words of Paul Walker's character in one of the movies "It's gettin' thick real quick." Great writing indeed.

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