Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down Book Review

Forrest Griffin is my hero. This has been the case since I first saw that Griffin/Bonner fight at the end of The Ultimate Fighter: Season 1. There has never been a fight like it. I’ve also watched him as a trainer on a subsequent season of TUF and the guy is flat-out hilarious in addition to his badassedness. Even his post-fight chats with Joe Rogan get me rollin’, especially if he is the one that just got knocked out. He has a ridiculous chin and has the ability to take punishment like no other and does it with an awkward Cro-Magnon-esque body reminiscent of “Mr. Peepers” from the old SNL sketch (look it up). Yeah, he’s my hero. Hence, when I saw that he had written the book Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse I had to buy it. Surprised he wrote a book? Well this is actually his second book, so quit stereotyping. The first is entitled “Got Fight?”, and yes, I am reading it now. Plus, he used to be a police officer, and is awesome, and has good ground and pound, and striking, and is cool and also awesome, and another thing…….so go grab a piece of fat and slide off.

In this book, Forrest breaks down the very essence of manliness. He defines and redefines exactly what it is to walk tall reeking of masculinity. It is from this perspective that he attempts to teach you those skills that not only allow you to survive the eminent apocalypse, but rather flourish in the wastelands.

But is the book comprehensive? Yeah. Example: The actual destroyer of the earth doesn’t even matter as he covers all possible scenarios including lava flow, nuclear winter, and there may have even been a section on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. If there wasn’t, there should have been as it would have fit right in with the Zombies and plagues. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not being sarcastic. I’ve been convinced that both Zombies and plagues are inevitable and I am glad, for one, that we can finally have an open dialogue about it.

He covers preparation, escape routes, what to do with unwanted and unneeded family members, fallout shelters, weapon choice, and even how to rise to power in a Mad Max like world. I don’t want to give too much away, but my favorite part has to be his discussion on whom to take with you on your “End of Days” quest. I know what you are thinking…stripper and/or hooker right? No…see, that is dead wrong, and Forrest explains, in detail, why. I’ve also gotta say, it is very tough to refute his logic.

He even has a little section on Pimpin’ your post-apocalyptic ride that was written by none-other-than Zakk Wylde the Satanic maniac himself. What more do you people want in a book? How about a step by step guide to making a personal, umm….”device” using rubber bands, a towel, veggie oil, and a rubber glove? Sick, demented, kinda sad, but genius none-the-less. Plus, since the men-to-women ratio will likely be 100-1 post D-Day, it serves a real purpose. He is like Mr. Wizard, if Mr. Wizard was a registered sex offender.

So if you are too sophisticated for bathroom humor, jokes about STD’s, or locker room repertoire, this isn’t the book for you. If you are offended by pretty much anything that has ever been put on film or in print, then this isn’t the book for you. However, if you are a dude, with man thoughts, and a guy brain, with a bro’s mindset, grab this off the shelf and flip it open for a few chuckles. Those chuckles just might save your life.