I garner looks of dismay and shame when I suggest buying a candy bar on an afternoon coffee run. The looks of pity and disgust over their Chai tea makes me feel dirty and self-loathing.
Now if I want an afternoon treat at work, I run down to the candy machine like a rogue KGB agent, and sneak up a candy bar in my pocket. I get to my desk and hunch around the treat while quietly opening the wrapper. I scarf down the goody and wipe off any crumbs that will give me away. Who are they to judge? (To be honest, there is plenty to judge. My resting heart rate exceeds any US speed limit, and if I wore a wig, you would think me 6 months pregnant)
Because of this, I have become a closet candy bar consumer. I binge in secret...trying to satisfy the cravings from my chocolate sabbatical that I portray in public. I'm convinced that if eating a candy bar weren't taboo, I would be able to handle my habit more successfully. Start throwing in a candy bar with a Subway combo meal. Serve them as stirring spoons for coffee. Let's get rid of the social prohibition that drives me to partake in secret.
(Un?) Fortunately, Snickers has released the candy bar equivalent of 36 year old Scotch. The Peanut Butter Snickers. (On a side note...I think there was an unsuccessful attempt to release a peanut butter snickers a few years ago. I believe it lasted slightly longer than Conan's Tonight Show gig.)
Since the shelving of Peanut Butter Twix many years ago, there hasn't been a truly satisfying peanut butter candy bar on the market. (side note 2...the new peanut butter Twix is NOT the same as its predecessor. It's the loser son of an classic original...like Julian Lennon)
The Peanut Butter Snickers is a geometric-friendly square. There are single serving grab bags, or a single package called Peanut Butter Snickers "Squared." Basically...two squares in one package. The peanut butter filling has replaced the regular Snickers nougat filling. There is still peanuts, caramel, and chocolate in the candy bar. On the surface, it appears to be a symbiotic concoction for the ages. Unfortunately, it's like every U2 album for the last 10 years...disappointing.
Don't get me wrong, this is a very good candy bar. It just doesn't stand out much from other offerings in the current confectionery marketplace. The peanut butter taste is not as strong as I'd expect/desire. If you are looking for a strong peanut butter taste, this probably won't satisfy your craving, and you should just grab a spoon and a jar of Jif.
Hopefully this candy bar will stick around. I'd like to stick it in my portfolio of sweet surprises in my bottom work drawer.
I'll continue to ignore the snickers (haha) from any group of pretentious, waif-like health-nuts, as I know that they just came back from the restroom where they puked up their eggnog latte and strawberry danish. I may not be able to count the number of my chins on one hand, but I'll continue eating my sugary treats anyway.
Peanut Butter Snickers barely squeaks into a 4-star rating.