Subway's Chipotle Chicken and Cheese Flatbread Sandwich Review

I abhor lunchtime food decisions.  Luckily, I ran across a story online about the Subway dude Jared running the NYC marathon.  Taking this as a sign from the interwebs, I walked briskly to my car, and lazily (I was tired from the brisk walk) sat in the drive-through of the nearest Subway.  I fully had the intent of ordering one of their low-calorie lettuce-filled sandwiches, but the visual temptation of meats, sauces and cheese overcame my 3 minute desire to eat healthier.

It had been a while since my last 7 minute foray into healthy eating. (of which I went to Subway)  Apparently they have branched out from the tried and true solution of some type of meat, lettuce, lettuce flavored veggies, and one inch of mayo between a couple pieces of dry bread.  There were now breakfast sandwiches, and some new flatbread offerings.
My Jewish roots conspired with my enormous belly, and succeeded in tempting my brain to order the Chipotle Chicken and Cheese Flatbread sandwich.

The picture of the sandwich looked good.  A pita filled with "suspicious-looking too perfectly" cut chicken pieces, green peppers, cheese, and the "slightly behind the rage" chipotle sauce.  To hear Subway describe the sandwich is much more impressive---let's hear what they have to say.

What is it about bubbly cheese that makes everything taste so meltrageous? We may never know, but we do know that fiery grilled chicken, crisp green peppers and bubbly melted cheese topped with Chipotle southwest sauce on toasty flatbread is mighty meltastic.

Subway invented no fewer than 2 words in this description.  It really irks me when the fusion of 2 regular words are combined to create a new one.  This Frankenapproach really pisses me off.

Regardless of Subway's craptacular approach to diction, the sandwich looked delicious.  I quickly forked out my 8 dollars (holy crap) and told them not to water down the sandwich with their enormous amounts of vegelettuce.

I'll just get this out of the way right now--This is about as good as Subway can do on a sandwich.  Given their sub-par quality of meats, cheeses, and breads, this is pretty darn good.  The synergisticimeltification quality was quite high.

The chipotle sauce was slightly spicy, but wouldn't put off the average eater.  The girth and length of the sandwich was enough to make me slightly blush.  It's a full meal.  I could have used even a little more sauce on mine...but I like em' saucified.
What really makes this sandwich good, was created by my unleavened bread brothers from centuries past.  The pita bread is a nice touch on an already decent sandwich.  The entire experience was a cacophamelt of deliciousness.

I am actually looking forward to my next 11 minute health food kick so that I can get my meltification on.  Thank you Subway for a half-decent overpriced sandwich, and particularly for the ability to create at least 5 new words in this review.  The Chipotle Chicken and Cheese Flatbread sandwich gets a solid 4-star rating.  A 5-star rating might have been on the horizon had it not been for the douchimelt running the register, who forgot to put the points on my subway card. (honestly...I've spent hundreds of dollars there, and have only enough points for some apple bites and a cookie)