9.03.2010

Pilot G-2 Pen Review


There is a black hole forming in my home. 
Critical mass is slowly being reached in my kitchen drawer.  Many eons ago, a small basket held a few precious pencils and pens.  Whenever a quick note or phone number needed to be written down, you'd reach in that drawer and use the first available writing utensil.

Over the millennia, pens found under the couch, in the car, and at the bottom of a purse were deposited into this basket.  Its mass has slowly risen to Kelly Clarkson-like levels. Unfortunately, quantity does not equal quality.  The random chance that you'll find a pen that works, or a pencil without a broken lead is approximately 1%. 
I can realistically envision a situation where the president is calling me with GPS coordinates to a safe bunker during a nuclear war.  He asks if I have a pencil, and I look to the basket for redemption...only to pull out a dud.  I'm literally scratching holes in paper trying to get the ink out.  I reach in for another, and it is dry as a bone as well.  I furiously lick the tip of the pen, but to no avail.  The GPS coordinates come and go, and I'm left in a pile of pens up to my knees...bloody tongue, scratches in the counter, and my family doomed to a radioactive death. 
If the gold standard was changed to the dud pen standard---my house would be Fort Knox.

It's like my family thinks the basket is a Pen Cemetery, where pens come back from the dead. (sometimes dead is better...)

As my family slowly gets sucked into this pen vortex at home, I have a dirty little secret at work.  I have found the perfect pen, and only need one to satisfy all my writing needs. (One pen to rule them all)

The Pilot G-2 is not new.  In fact this pen is one of the best-selling in the country.  Unfortunately, my last place of employment did not supply this pen. (at least not to me)  We were relegated to throwaway Bic's and cheap refillable pens for our work anniversary gifts.
Luckily, my current workplace supplies these bad boys in spades.  Even though one pen lasts a very long time, I hide my own stash in my desk...like they are going to stop producing them or something.  I'm a Pilot G-2 hoarder.

I like my pens like my women...to put out. (ba-doom---hiss)  Honestly, this is the single most important aspect of a pen.  If I have to press hard on paper to get ink out of the tip, I'm not interested.  The G-2 puts out just enough ink to relieve hand stress, but does not leave so much that it doesn't dry quickly.  Supposedly they use gel ink...but I don't know what this is, nor do I care.  I'd use chicken blood if it meant a high quality pen. (I actually wouldn't use this, and I stand by my PETA brethren to stop the brutal killing of chickens solely for the use of their blood in pens.  If we're going to kill them we should also use the meat on my grill, and donate the feet to worthy poor fortune telling gypsies)

I'm not a pen lid person.  Pen lids were mainly invented to wean kids off of chewing on pencils.  Their purpose is to prevent the ink tip from drying out, but 99% of pen lids are lost or misplaced in the first 3 months of normal use.  Our cosmic pen basket has an equivalent number of pens and lids, but due to government conspiracies, no brand of pen will fit a lid from another brand.  The G-2 has a retractable pen.  Genius.

The girth of the G-2 would make Marky Mark jealous.  You have a comfortable rubber grip to hold, and the pen feels just right in your hand.

There are multiple colors and ink tip sizes.  I prefer black, and an 07 tip.

These are also very affordable.  Most are under 2 bucks a piece.

I'm sure there are ball-point or Zebra elitists who poo-poo the use a such a cheap pen.  Take off the monocle, and put down the cherry-wood pipe.  Nobody can read your terrible handwriting anyway.

I need to bring a couple of these pens home, and dismantle our pen basket before the second big bang occurs.

5 solidly hand-drawn stars.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everyone is pissin themselves over these pens so I went and bought a few. They are some of the scratchiest pens I've ever used. It was pretty bad.

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