Alps Mountaineering Big C.A.T. Camp Chair Review

You’ve heard all of the reviewers at this website complain about how fat they are or how fat they are becoming. The other three are lying to you. Oh, they may be saggy or pudgy or soft in the midsection. No doubt they can’t fit into the 501 shrink to fit jeans they did back when Duran Duran had 3 #1 hits on the charts. But they are not fat. Don’t get me wrong, they all have the potential to be hideous Hutts one day, but for now, I am the only truly fat man reviewing here.

Proof of that is the other 3 have never even heard of the product I’m about to review. I have been fortunate and have never had a chair break under the enormous pressure and weight of my humongous buttocks, but there have been close calls. I’ve had several kids in little league sports and I have spent many an hour punishing cheap and rickety camp chairs bought mostly at Walmart for less than $20. The abuse they have received at my hands…errr arse, is a testament to their overall quality and stamina. But Clinton was President the last time I actually got to relax in one of these chairs. I have lived under the constant threat of the humiliation and pain that would come with the inevitable breakage of said chair, quickly followed by the inevitable breakage of my tailbone.

The other 3 reviewers have never seen this product because not only are they not fat but are not overly tall either. It was on my last visit to the local Big and Tall store to purchase a pair of 54" jeans that I found the answer to all my problems. Diet and exercise? No, perish the thought. A camp chair with a 500 pound weight capacity? Say AMEN Brother!!!

The Big C.A.T. by Alps Mountaineering is a marvel of modern engineering. It looks like all the other camp chairs most of you are familiar with, but looks are indeed deceiving. It does in fact have a weight limit of 500 pounds (your average Walmart one is less than 200 pounds). It is stronger, but is also a higher quality product all around. Good materials, good design and something that is hard to put a price tag on – the peace of mind that you’re not going to fall on your butt and have your vertebrae rip through your chest. It fits well into the provided carry bag, which is also stronger than all the other ones. The chair does weigh a little bit more, but just barely and it’s very worth it.

There is one drawback to this chair. Obviously, those who designed it were mostly concerned by weight and width, but are themselves, not overweight, because they did not resolve what I call the “nutcracker effect”. The Big C.A.T. will hold my weight and is wide enough to accommodate my prodigious hips, but us big guys need more than just enough room to squeeze our hips in a chair. See wide hips and wide thighs go together and wide thighs lead to crushed testicles. The only cure is to be able to spread your chubby legs far enough apart to allow for your thighs to actually have some separation between them. This chair does not account for this problem and therefore it looses 1 star.

For you chubby Boy Scouts out there who always want to be prepared, you may also want to consider the “King Kong” camp chair from Alps Mountaineering. Pretty much the same chair but has an 800 pound capacity. But I’ll stick to my Big C.A.T. because by the time I reach 500 pounds I’ll be ready to just stay on my couch until I’m fused to it. As for you would-be fatsos out there that still buy clothes off the rack at JCPenny or Macy’s or Old Navy I have one word for you: Amateurs!

The Big C.A.T. by Alps Mountaineering scores 4 big fat jumbo stars. It retails for around $50 and is available at most Big and Tall stores. It’s definitely tons and tons above the rest!!!!


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