The Cat In The Hat Comes Back Review

I did not like The Cat in the Hat Comes Back
I found it extremely boring.
It went on and on and on
And left this reader snoring.

But I’m getting ahead of myself
And for this I apologize,
For the ending of my review came first
I suddenly did realize.

I love reading to my children
Everything from that kid Potter,
To the Princesses of Disney
(they don’t come any hotter).

But a special place in my heart doth
the tales of Dr. Seuss reside,
My enthusiasm for their prose
Is one I cannot hide.

Green Eggs and Ham, the Fox in the Box,
Oh the Places You’ll Go, The Cat In the Hat,
One cannot beat children’s literature
With awesome titles like that.

So what a dismal surprise it was to me
That The Cat in the Hat Comes Back,
Was the worse kind of drivel
Like the adventures of Jill and Jack.

Halfway through this ponderous read
I begged my 7-year old daughter for mercy,
“Let’s read something else instead” I cried
“NO” she replied quite tersely.

I tried to skip paragraphs and pages
Anything to make the pain stop faster.
But she was too sly for these attempts
I can’t get anything past her.

But finally the last page was turned
And I sat this pathetic book down.
How could Dr. Seuss produce such drivel
I silently pondered with a frown.

It ruined a treasured story
The very icon of Dr. Seuss.
For the Cat in the Hat was awesome
Move over Mother Goose.

But with its title alone I’m sure
The Cat in the Hat Came Back,
Was a guaranteed top-seller
Another to add to their stack.

But let me warn you all
loud and clear,
Away from this schlock
you should steer.

You should not read it in a box
You should not read it with a fox
You should not read it on a train
You should not read it in the rain
You should not read it here or there
You should not read it anywhere

In short I feel I must say:
I did not like The Cat in the Hat Comes Back,
And I sincerely hope more than anything else
That the writer of it was sacked.

So to the awarding of rating stars
I do now humbling turn,
And award this tome the stars
That it so rightfully did earn:


Zac Pritcher said...

Very nice! I really enjoyed that, couldn't stop smiling the whole way through. Bonus points for creativity!

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