I've watched/listened to the Utah Jazz for over 25 years, and every season ends with disappointment. Not once have the Jazz ever been able to hoist the championship trophy while I stand in front of the TV with tears in my eyes. What kind of masochistic person am I? It's perpetual disappointment..much like watching Heroes, or the look in my wife's eyes after a roll in the hay.
I must be a glutton for punishment....I am certainly a glutton.
3 years ago, the Jazz with a young roster rocketed to the Western Conference finals in the playoffs. It was to be the start of something big. We had the elite point guard, the top tier power forward, and a good young nucleus around these two.
And then the next year, we under-achieved...and the next. In fact, we've gotten progressively worse since the playoff run. Oh, the team blamed it on injuries, chemistry, and to be patient.
This year (2009-2010) was supposed to be the return to glory. All players were healthy. The team had far exceeded the luxury tax cap in player's salaries. This was the year......
18-16. This the record of the Jazz. Losers of 3 in a row. 2 of the 16 losses were to Minnesota who only technically qualifies as an NBA team. We just recently lost to Denver at home, who were without Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups. That's like playing Mike Tyson's punch-out, and you can win the game without fighting Big Mike...cakewalk.
They tease me....As I have a TV package which includes every Jazz game, I tune in often. I'll turn to the game...and it will be close. I'll get sucked into the game, only to be dissappointed and mad at the end. (also...like my wife after a roll in the hay)
Well, this is it. I am officially downgrading my TV package to remove all Jazz games. No longer will you tempt me into your snare of repeated punishment and despair. You're 40% into the season, and wouldn't make the playoffs if they started today.
Can you win me back? Can my affection be yours again? Yes.....if you make a few trades that will shake things up. I don't even care who we get...just do something. Anyone not named Deron Williams should be available.
I would also tune in if Jerry Sloan bitch-slapped a player on TV. That would be enough.
I would also tune in if you brought back the short John Stockton shorts for all white players.
I would also tune in if you got Morgan Freeman to call the games, and used the term "Get busy living, or get busy dying" at least once per half.
The Utah Jazz have been sucking my sports soul for too long, and get a 1-star rating only for being over .500.