Black Jack Taco from Taco Bell review

The math geeks at Taco Bell are at it again.  They know that they can release a "new" product every 2 months using the same ingredients that they've kept in the restaurant since 1993.  They have calculated the number of permutations until they have to add a new ingredient into the mix.  At the rate Taco Bell releases "new" food items, it will be 2018 before they have to throw in something new...like real meat.  I've discussed this in the past in my other (basically defunct, but completely hilarious) blog in describing laws of the universe.  If you're interested in a good read---click here!!

The "new" item in restaurants now is the Black Jack taco.  They've taken a black crisp taco shell and filled it with their quasi-meat, pepper jack sauce, lettuce, and cheese.  As in all Taco Bell items, you should probably douse the item with at least 3 Hot sauce packets---Not mild or Fire.  Hot.  By the way, put some Hot sauce on a dirty penny.  15 minutes later, wipe off the Hot sauce, and then stop wondering why explosive diarrhea is synonymous with Taco Bell food.

To be honest, this taco tastes almost identical to the other fare on the menu.  If it was any more than 89 cents, I wouldn't ever purchase this again.  Luckily, it is the same price as a regular taco.  So if you're interested in getting 10 grams of fat more for the same price and taste---be my guest!!

A question some are raising is the reasoning behind the Black Jack taco.  Is this a Halloween theme?  Perhaps they want to use a play on words with the sauce to coincide with the Poker championships on ESPN?  Are the closet rascists correct in stating that Taco Bell paid off a bunch of Nobel prize voters?
Regardless of the reasoning, I think Michael Jackson said it best.  "It doesn't matter if you're black or white."  Black taco shell, white taco shell....it's pretty much the same taste.

I think the best question to be asked, is whether you think 5 dollars of Black Jack tacos will have any effect on the long-term health of your colon.

If you are a person who could rate an item from taco bell 5 stars, then you might as well give this one 5 stars as it tastes basically the same.  Unfortunately, Taco Bell food barely scrapes its way to a 1-star rating----but the cheap price tag boosts this one up a star.  The Black Jack taco gets a 2-star anal spew rating.  Eat up...and bring a book to the bathroom.


JustJim said...

I reviewed Tamiflu on Monday, ate a Black Jack Taco on Tuesday (I really liked it BTW) and was diagnosed with Swine Flu on Wednesday. Coincience? I think not.

Matt said...

I don't even touch solid surfaces anymore due to germ OCD. I really think I'm cutting 5 years off my life due to worrying about germs.

Anonymous said...

I lOVE Taco Bell, and the new Black Jack taco is sooo good, and cheap!!!!!

BTW Ive never had ''explosive diarhea'', and I work there.

Matt said...

Anon--Where do you work? Can you get me free nachos supreme when I come in? Maybe an extra squirt of sour cream or nacho cheese?

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