9.11.2009

Neutrogena Deep Clean Invigorating Shine-Free Cleanser Review


The summer I turned 18, my late-blooming body decided to exact revenge for the extended lack of female companionship. It turned it's terror alert to red---as in acne red. My (sorta) beautiful baby face suddenly turned into a wasteland of exploding nuclear waste piles.
For the next 3 years, my life was full of facial scrubs, cotton balls, loofah scraping, facial masks, and other ridiculous skin treatments to rid myself of acne. My success ratio was exactly 0%, and I think I may have just exacerbated the problem.

3 years later, my body decided to withdraw the troops and go into remission from the daily fight. Oh sure I sometimes had the random zit or two, but nothing like the cacophony of pimple-ness I had earlier exhibited.
Luckily, I did not incur any serious acne scarring, and came out of the experience relatively unscathed. (although my female companionship issue was still....an issue. On a completely separate note, I have a friend who said his brother completely rid his face of acne without any prescriptions. He said his brother would use the FIRST urine of the day on a rag, and then wipe his face. Completely cleared up, although it had to be the FIRST pee of the day. I NEVER tried this....and I would NEVER admit it if I did)

So now I'm a fat ugly 34 year old man, but I do have a fairly clear complexion.....except on my nose. If you know me, my nose is not to be trifled with. My Jewish ancestry assured me of prominence in this area.

For many years, I have suffered from what I'd call "black-heads" on my nose, except that they really aren't zits as much as pockets of dirts forever clinging for dear life on my skin. I've tried just about everything to clear up the dirty skin. Oddly enough, I've used the same treatment from when I was 18 years old...with roughly the same results. Unfortunately, I've seemed to upset the PH balance of my face as it randomly puts out more oil or completely no oil to compensate for whatever treatment I'm using.
I'll truly try anything...nobody wants their nose at 6 feet to look like the the La Brea tar pits from an airplane.

My wife gave me a bottle of Neutrogena Deep Clean Invigorating Shine-Free Cleanser to combat the problem. If Neutrogena is trying to impress the consumer on name length of the product...mission complete. If they would have added a few more words in the title, I would have paid double for the bottle.
This is a bluish cream with a little "sand" in the cream. I say "sand" as I'm not sure of what scratchy crap is in the bottle. It could be crushed bone of dead kittens...I'm not sure.
This is like any other facial cream you can use in the shower or sink. Apply, rinse, and don't use on your nether regions. (listen up 14 year old boys)

This did clear up any oily skin problem I had. I no longer have to carry mini squeegies to clear off my face. I can attest that it also promotes "shine-free" skin.
Did it clear up my black-heads? Not completely, but they are much better. My skin now has the sheen of at least a healthy 40 year old. I suppose I can add the tagline--It took 10 years off my face...and I still look old.

On (another) separate note, this shower cleansing business is completely out of hand. Shampoo, Conditioner, Soap, Axe (for scenty goodness), Facial cleanser...and then add shaving!!!?? I'll be in the shower for 30 minutes to complete all these tasks. Perhaps I should pee in the toilet before I get in to cut down at least 30 seconds.

All in all, this is a decent product, and I give it a squeaky clean 3-star rating.

2 comments:

unfinishedrambler said...

I used to use Neutrogena shampoo when I was a kid. I think all of their products have that sandy feel and the smell not always so appetizing either.

You're only 34? I always thought you were at least 40 anyway. ;)

Matt said...

UR---that hurts. I'm still on the "uphill" side of 40.

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