Matt's Capsule Movie Reviews

When the wife decides to leave town with the kids, I usually grab a bunch of movies that she has no interest in watching.
She doesn't like horror, ultra-crass, or just plain stupid movies.

I perused the torrent movie list, and grabbed the following 3 movies, certain that she'd have no interest. Each comes with its own short review.

A Haunting in Connecticut:
PG-13 horror movies are in their own class. Not quite enough gore, and far too many "jump out at ya" moments. Movie studios realized that the Ring was a good scary PG-13 movie, and have tried to copy it for years. This is another case where it doesn't work.
Let me give you the breakdown of this movie: Family moves into haunted house. Oldest son sees a bunch of scary "things" around the house. I doze off. Wake up in time to see him torch the house, and free of it of all evil. Roll credits.
This is supposed to be based on a true story. I went online and read the background of the story, and some author made up most of it in a "biographical" book he wrote on the subject.
Let me spare you some time. If you've seen the Grudge, Pulse, the new Amityville horror, or One missed call, you've seen this movie. Why do studios keep green-lighting these boring horror movies? I long for the time of Freddy Krueger and Evil Dead 2.
2 stars out of 5.

Road Trip; Beer Pong:
I saw most of the first Road Trip movie, and laughed a couple times. I won't say it was terrible. So how bad could this movie be? I don't remember it in the theaters...did it go straight to video?
I'm going to be completely honest here....I saw 12 minutes of this show. I did not laugh once, nor did I pay much attention. This was a terrible 12 minutes, and I wasn't going to waste any more of my life. In fact, I'm not sure if there was enough "obligatory booby shots" only because I didn't make it that far into the movie. I hope those dudes that braved the movie for some nudity were rewarded.
0 stars out of 5

The Hangover:
I knew this movie was going to be good. I had heard from countless people that it was hilarious. This gave it a little "letdown factor," but was still a great, funny movie.
2 buddies and a future brother-in-law take a soon-to-be-married friend on an all-night Vegas bender for his bachelor party. The movie then jumps to the next morning while the cast tries to piece the previous night together. There are some true belly laugh moments. It's a very funny show.
All the lead characters in this show do a fantastic job in their roles.
On a separate note, I'm wondering why the movie studios are including so much Dudity in their movies in the past few years. (For those who are ignorant, dudity is the male form of nudity...specifically the sugar lumps....my brother-in-law coined the term) Even those that enjoy the male persuasion whether they be male or female, don't want to see a naked dude....especially when he's hanging out in the wind. I understand that for the most part it's supposed to be humorous, but these images are burned into my skull, and will never leave. Take Forgetting Sarah Marshall....waaaayy to much dudity.
The Hangover scores a solid 4 star rating.


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