8.17.2009

Jewelry for Wife's Birthday review



What is the deal with so many holidays? Not that I mind an occassional Rosh Hashanah every once in a while, but there are way too many holidays that require the man to give his wife/girlfriend/life partner an expensive gift. Let's see, there is Valentine's day, Anniversary, Mother's day, Christmas, and the most expensive present is usually reserved for her birthday. I swear, if they invented a few more gift holidays we could boost out of this recession in no time.

So my wife's birthday was last week and it's basically like pulling teeth from a pirahna to find out what she actually wants. I don't get it. On my birthdays I tell her exactly what I want and I get exactly that. I asked her and she hemmed and hawed for a while and said "Give me something that Edward would do for Bella..." WTF!?! She's not even a fan of those damned books and she comes up with that? It's been a long time since I have sired anyone or whispered sweet nothings in their ear, so I discarded her request. I'll get off my high horse after I say this, Twilight has ruined all realistic expectation of the modern man.

On her past birthdays I always go above and beyond the budget I set out to spend, and she ends up loving what I get. This year I am a poor broke(n) man. I had less than a hundred dollars to spend. What could I buy for that amount? Maybe some Target shirts, maybe a giftcard to anywhere. No wait, giftcards are the equivalent of not putting effort or thought into her gift. (At least that's what she will think.) When I feel brave I make the embarrassing trek into the girls' clothes department of the store. Don't worry, I feel like captain pedophile walking around all these blouses and cardigans. Every woman who sees me backs away and half expect me to start caressing everything in the underwear section. (I wanted to say "panties" but the makes me feel ridiculous, though the word always makes me giggle.) As I look blindly around for something, anything that my wife might grow to love I spot the perfect shirt.

Now comes the tricky part. What F'ing size is she?
Small? But what if it's too small and I give it to her and she says "Is this the size you wish I was?"
Large? I'm not even going to think about it, I'll be sleeping on the couch for sure.
Medium? Yeah I'm going for medium. I love being in the middle ground.

Let's not even get into numbered sizes. If I even ventured there, I would be single in no time. And of course I hold up a medium shirt and look at a girl about then feet from me around my wife's size and guess whether this shirt would fit. Then when she catches me looking I look away quickly and my voice cracks.

So I think we've ruled out clothes as a gift. A lot of men buy expensive jewelry for their wives for the gift holidays. I am not one of these men. I don't have the cash to throw around on a diamond bracelet, etc. I don't even know if my budget allows me enough to buy a ring setting, nonetheless a diamond and/or cubic zirconia. Well, inspiration hit me two days before her birthday. It hit me like a stone, a birthstone that is. We just had a baby girl two months ago and apparently my wife loves her quite a bit. I figured that a necklace or earrings with our baby's birth stone would be the perfect gift. I took a chance on a pendant/necklace and managed to get it for under my budget. Well the gamble paid off and she could not believe how sensitive I was. Another birthday down, countless more gift holidays to go.

If I plan on getting jewelry again I'm going to need to spend much more. She won't fall for that again. Unless...we have another kid. Second birthstone here we come. Finding and giving jewelry is great, but shopping for it is pretty terrible so I give it 3 carats.

2 comments:

Vicki said...

Alright, even though her bday has passed, I will help you out. You are okay on jewelry for awhile, we can only wear so much of it. My FAV gifts from the hubby? The mousepad with the pic of my son's ultrasound on it, the mother's ring, the camera because I am a picture fanatic, the body pillow when I was preggo. Get it-all very thoughtful. The gift that pissed me off, the huge basket of bath goodies that I knew I wouldn't be able to use because he wouldn't watch the kids-and I haven't! a massage certificate would have been better. Or a clean house. Or a clean car. getting the picture? But, you are about reviews, so that is where the help stops!

Major Undeclared said...

Vicki, I need as much help as possible. I appreciate these ideas and plan to pirate them the next time around. Thanks.

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