The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Movie Review

Before I give an overview of this movie, let me give you a little insight so that you don't think I judge too harshly or lightly.

I generally like most movies. Action, Horror, Fantasy, Drama, Thrillers...It doesn't really matter. As long as I'm entertained, I won't be too negative.
Don't get me wrong. I do have a top 10 list of worst movies ever, and I'll probably feel the need to share them with you in the future. But the list doesn't include "Sleepless in Seattle," "The Notebook," or "Anything starring Matthew McConaughey."

I do have a softer side, and enjoy flics that have a love story. In fact, some of my favorite movies involve a love story:
The Matrix. (Trinity and Neo)
The Shining. (Nicholson and the Hotel)
The Goonies. (Sloth and Chunk)
I even cried when I was 9 and watched Savannah Smiles. So let's get real...I'm a man in touch with his tender side. (That sounded dirty)

On the surface, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" looked like it had many things going its way. The fact that a dude ages backwards is an interesting concept that most of us have thought of before. (What perverted man doesn't wish they could relive high school with the knowledge they have now?)
Brad Pitt was nominated for awards in his performance, so that was a good thing.
I had heard good things from a couple co-workers. (All female, but I don't gender-stereotype movies...very often.)

The first thing I noticed when I fired the movie up, was that it was almost 3 hours. I thought that it must be a great movie to fill an entire 3 hours...like they just couldn't tell the story in 90 minutes.
The movie started interestingly enough with Pitt's character being born as an old man, and then aging backwards. His mind was the right age....but exactly opposite of his body.
The minutes were ticking by in this film, and more and more NOTHING kept happening. It was just him getting younger, and the things he did in his life.

I looked down when I thought the movie might be close to the end, and we were only 67 minutes into the film. I was devastated. It was if I was sitting in a boring Sunday School lesson where the minute-hand actually ran in reverse.

I would go on with his story in the movie, but it doesn't matter, because you shouldn't watch this movie. You don't need to see the movie to get the gist.

SPOILER ALERT:
Here is the movie in a nutshell.
He is born an old man. He ages backwards. In his "old age" he reverts back to an infant, and then just "dies." (Or is born....I'm not sure)
At some point in the movie, he falls in love, and gets the love of his life pregnant. The daughter is completely normal. No extra fingers or eyes. Just a normal girl. The End.

I would suggest watching the extended trailer for the movie, and just tell people you saw it. If you're asked about details, just make something up. Chances are, that they fell asleep halfway through the movie, and didn't see it all. They won't question you for a second.

Besides the boredom, I have one more beef with this movie. It seemed that Brad Pitt was mentally "challenged" regardless of his age in the movie. I'm not sure if he was channeling "Rain Man" for this performance, or a boring Forrest Gump, but his performance was not good.

In fact, this movie had a "poor-man's Forrest Gump" feel to it. A man seems slightly retarded, and goes out into the world for nifty adventures. The love of his life is doing more exciting things in New York, and doesn't love him. (yet) After his nifty adventures are complete, she finally settles down, and they get together. The only difference is that this movie is much worse than "Gump," and doesn't give us any memorable lines such as "Run Forrest Run!"

If I had to describe this movie to a stranger in less than 15 seconds, it would go like this:
Take 2 cups of Forrest Gump without all the action/special effects. Then mix in 1 cup of "Meet Joe Black," in its entirety. (Including the fact that NOTHING happens in this movie after the first 5 minutes) Mix well on high, and then add a little arsenic. Eat with plenty of water, and enjoy your fate.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button nods its way to a 1-star rating....barely.