Fiber One Bars

So the great peanut scare has destroyed a little portion of my life. I am a little obsessive a little compulsive and a bit of a heavy weight when it comes to eating. Hence, my New Year’s resolution included some weight goals and some portion control, which requires smaller meals, many times a day and all that. In keeping with my goals, I headed to Costco and got myself some protein/nutrition bars for those intra-meal snacks. Then, I setup a nice little schedule of eating that kept the beast at bay for a few hours in the morning and in the afternoon. Good plan and was working, a little.

To my dismay, everything in the world with peanut butter seems to be tainted with poison and deadly to the touch, so all of my bars were not only recalled, but replacements are not on the shelves at Costco anymore. I was essentially without bars, I was barless. In lieu of my high protein stuff, which was now probably in a pit being burned somewhere, I went for fiber instead. "If you can’t beat ‘em, pass ‘em", I always say. I dropped twenty bucks on some Fiber One bars which wasn’t bad because I think there are like 20 bars in the box. All that fiber at a bargain price, we’re up to one star already and I hadn’t even tasted them yet.

9:30 a.m. rolls around the next day, I flip open my desk drawer and pull out a chocolate and oats bar which, I have to admit is pretty damn small. It’s a snack, right? Small is good. The thing tastes pretty good, but the texture is much like tree bark. It gives at first, but your teeth aren’t going all the way through. So you kind of mull it around in your maw until it is small enough to inhale and that’s it, you’re satiated.

They say that there is 35% of your daily fiber allowance in every bar, and I believe it because there is definitely some unprocessed lumber in those things. I also happen to be downing two of these a day, so I was hoping that the 1200 calorie double burger from Carl’s I had at lunch would have a little "grease on the wheels" , if you know what I mean. That way, the lard would have no absorption time in my gullet. Yeah, my logic may be a little skewed on that one.

As for the fiber doing its fiber thing, I already hit the "Throne" 3-4 times a day, and I didn’t really notice any difference with these bars. I’m talking about frequency only here, this isn’t the time or the place to mention texture changes…but do you know when you get to the end of a bottle of Easy Cheese and it starts to spatter sporadically? Yeah.

I guess these are healthy, and they taste pretty good. If you have dentures, you probably have no chance of plowing through these though; they’re a little "woody". I give them 3 stars but do have one recommendation. Don’t get caught without some 2-ply.