2 Big Macs for 3 dollars -- Mcdonalds

The lunch hour begins quite innocently enough. I take my solitary drive from work, and head down the main drag where most eating establishments reside.

Arbys? Blech...
Taco Bell? My bowels hurt already.
10 different sandwich shops? 8 bucks for a sandwich doesn't work for me.
Chinese? Tempting...
McDonald's? No way...nasty crap....but wait...........

2 Big Macs for 3 dollars???!!! Can it really be? How can they offer this slice of my youth for such a low price?

My inner child takes control of the wheel, and I turn into the parking lot. I head towards the drive-thru, but notice that there are enough cars waiting in line to save the auto industry.
I instead head inside the restaurant, and survey the scene. I notice the marquee for the "Big Mac double meal." Essentially, it's 2 big macs, fries and a drink. The gross weight of that meal is roughly 3 pounds.

I take my place in line behind 3 very large men wearing sweats. Mind you, these are not sweats with a college insignia down the side, but sweats with mustard stains down the side.
I wait patiently, and sheepishly order 2 big macs, and a large coke. (all drinks are 1 buck...booyah)
They hand me my food to go, and I head back to my car. The bag is heavy. It's like carrying a gallon of milk back to my car.

I drive back to work, and decide to eat in the parking lot rather than catch ridicule for ingesting 2 of these mammoth beasts.

The first sandwich is just as I remember it from my youth. Pickles, cheese, secret sauce, and a whole lot of bun. I'm greatly satisfied, and also very full.

I look down at the second sandwich and weigh my options.

I can throw it away. (That would make 1 big mac for 3 dollars--no way!!)
Save it for later. (I'm sure a reheated big mac would taste just delectable--not.)
Give it to a co-worker. (Hi, here's a heart attack in a cardboard box...I hope you die.)

Eat it.

As ingestion was my only option, I hunkered down for the fight.

Each progressive bite brings me closer to the brink of tears. Stomach acids start creeping up my throat wondering what hell-storm has just hit. Pickle juice is flowing down my chin as I lie in the fetal position, but the deed is done. I have eaten 2 big macs in one sitting. Bear Grylls would be proud.

As I sat on the toilet later that afternoon, my guilt overcomes me. I'm like a 16 year old kid who promises his priest that he'll never look at a nudey magazines again. But we all know what will happen. Who am I kidding?

To sum up, is this a good deal. Hell yes!! Where else can you get so much food for 3 dollars?
Here's what your 3 dollars just bought you:

1080 calories
58 fat grams
90 grams of carbs
50 grams of protein

So basically, you shouldn't eat anything else the rest of the day.

Other than a good deal, is this worth getting for 3 bucks by yourself? Hell no!!
Your bowels and innards dictate that you should only ingest 1 big mac per day.

Get two, and share one with your buddy/partner/dog/girlfriend/face book friend. Your sphincter will be happy that you did.

1 meaty star out of 5 for my experience. Could have shot up to a 3 had I passed on the second sandwich to a friend.


The Nemesing One said...

Your powers are weak old man. I remember when I was young and they had these bad boys 5 for $5 and I ate all 5 on several different occasions. Sadly, now three is about my absolute limit.

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