Subway's Chicken Pizziola sandwich Review

I've recently migrated from eating "healthy," to eating "cheaply." Luckily you can attempt both at Jared's favorite sandwich joint.
I'm not going to say that I love Subway. The advent of "toasting" the sandwiches has helped a little bit, but I'm completely convinced that all their meats are actually from the same "mixing bowl." I don't care if you get a cold cut combo, a club, or a roast beef, once the 20 cubic inches of lettuce hit the sandwich...it all just sort of tastes the same.

Subway's 5 dollar menu is a decent deal. A foot long sub for only 5 bucks is a good price, and will more than fill you up. Unfortunately, it's like ordering off the "scraps" menu, as tuna, meatball, and other crappy subs are your only choices. Luckily that "vinegar bread cooking smell" that sticks on your clothes is free to all who enter the doors.

So when I saw that they had a new sandwich on the 5 dollar menu, I had to give it a try. It's titled the Chicken Pizziola. Pizziola is the incorrect spelling of pizzaiola, which is loosely translated to "86% chance that pizza sauce will end up in your lap."
Subway is basically using the "Taco Bell strategy" which states that you must only have 7 different types of ingredients to make all you food.
The CP does this well by combining chicken, pepperoni, cheese, and their meatball sauce. All ingredients that Subway currently carries. Kudos to the Jared crew for thinking "outside the box." Yeah right.

Off the cusp, this has every ingredient for a great sandwich. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate as well as I would have hoped.
Every bite is a saucy disaster waiting to happen. The conglomerate of sauce, cheese, and meats wants to go every which way but into your mouth. You should wear a rain slicker if you aren't in public.
The sandwich is OK. Like everything at Subway, the tastes sort of blend together, and the only thing that stands out is the marinara sauce. Did I mention this is one saucy bastard??

I couldn't finish the entire foot long, and I experienced the "Taco Bell phenomenon" which states that everything tastes fine going down, but gives you gut rot for the next 3 hours. Had I only eaten half, I probably would have enjoyed it much more.
I'd suggest grabbing someone else, and splitting this with some Garden Sun Chips and a Coke.

Oh yeah...and bring a bib.

Subway is Quizno's slower little sister. It catches on (i.e. the sandwich toasting) but not for years after its predecessor. Toasting is a great thing for sandwiches of all franchises, Subway especially. It keeps my hoagie buns from becoming vinegar sponges.

Another great aspect of Subway lately is their campaign of the 5 dollar subs. I'm a huge tightwad. Huge. If I cannot finish a foot-long I am tempted to save it till the next day. (See also vinegar sponge soaking in my fridge) I cannot say it enough, I love to save money. So 5 bucks isn't too bad for a meal. Though unfortunately my choices are narrowed down to the meatball sub which, without fail, manages to burn a layer of skin off the roof of my mouth every time I eat it. I don't blame the meatball sub for it though.
So when I saw a new 5 dollar sub, the Chicken Pizziolala I was pretty excited. Come on! Chicken, Salami, Pepper Jack, and Marinara? That's a pretty good combo. But even if you put great tasting items, it doesn't equal great taste. (A lesson I learned when I mixed Caramel and Fettuccine Alfredo)

Matt hits it on the nail when saying that the Marinara takes the sandwich over. After eating this sub you will taste Marinara for a week. They probably thought Chicken would taste great on it, but sadly Subway's chicken is tasteless. Apparently in their quest to cut out all things fatty, they cut out the taste molecules. Sad.

If you are still gonna get the sandwich after this (I'm not gonna lie, I'm craving it a little now after writing all this) then get it with Italian Herbs and Cheese bread and drink plenty to stop your mouth from burning.

So what have we got? Scorched mouth and Spaghetti Sauce down the front of your shirt. I'd give that a healthy, toasted two stars.


Anonymous said...

$5 in m country is very expensive.

Matt said...

5 bucks will get you the following in the US:

1 Chicken pizziola sandwich.
10 minutes in an electric massage chair in the mall.
One half of a ticket to any new movie.
Tip for the valet parking.
2 gallons of milk.
2 and half school lunches.
2 minutes on a XXX chat line.

Everything is a ripoff here.

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