11.08.2008

Nair for Men Review



It is almost 2009. We are civilized men who acknowledge the time, money, and attention that women pay to their grooming and hygiene. We want to reciprocate, we need to reciprocate. There is no excuse for me to let my Yeti-like lower half persist. So the question becomes, how do I go about sprucing up the ol’ under carriage? How do I prune my hardy, unkempt, thatch?

I have spent many an hour taming my natural leggings with a number 2 head on my Wahl buzz clippers. Toe to waist, front and back, everything is getting a trim. There are, of course, some problem areas that require special attention. Without going into great detail, I’ll just say that shaky hands, a nervous heart, and reciprocating blades are never a good combination when working around the nether regions. The backside is also virtually impossible to navigate leaving a valley of hair that can’t be removed without pulling or plucking. Ouch. Yet I do it. I do it for my wife, I do it for society, I do it for the progress of man…and I am admitting it here in this public forum. If you are a disgusted at this point, you need to man-up and take one for the team and I promise your wife or girlfriend will thank you for it.

I’ve battled with the grove for several years now until the other day when I saw it on the internet, Nair for Men. I was thrilled. I called my wife and asked her to pick some up for me. I thought my grooming problems were solved. Then I got home and read the package.

“DO NOT USE ON HEAD, FACE, AROUND EYES, IN NOSE, EARS OR ON BREAST NIPPLES, PERIANAL OR GENITAL AREAS”

Huh? I bought it specifically for crack, nips, and nads. Why else would anyone use this stuff?...and do I even have breast nipples?

So I was out a few bucks on this useless crap but wanted to try it anyhow. I smeared this stuff on my chest (not nipples) and let it sit for the recommended 4 minutes. After about 30 seconds I was gagging from the overwhelming smell and had to open the bathroom door so as not to asphyxiate. Then the burning started. A deep tissue fire erupted on my chest at about minute 3, so I grabbed a wet cloth and wiped the stuff away. 40% of the hair came off but the burning remained. I got in the shower to douse the flame but it burned for another 20 min. Painful, smelly, and useless on “the boys”, this stuff is worthless. I’m just glad I read the package and tried it on my chest first.




4 comments:

Dwayne from Probably Sucks Blog said...

Thanks for the helpful review. And to think that I was going to put this stuff on my balls. You've just saved me A LOT of testicular pain my friend.

What would happen if I put it on my cat?

Dwayne.
http://probablysucks.com

MeatWad said...

If I can save but one man even a moment of testicular burning, then my job here is done.

Perky said...

Lol! Oh I'm so mean for laughing at your ordeal but really, I can't help myself ;)

Try going for professional bikini wax. At this day and age, they do cater to men as well. Hey, it definitely beats getting testicular burning right? ;)

MeatWad said...

I'm not sure if pouring hot wax on my "tenders" and having the hair ripped out by the root is much better than some burning. The clippers are sounding better and better all the time.

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